Getting Older

After meeting my brother’s girlfriend for the first time, I only remember feeling excited. I was happy my brother found someone he liked and that this girl could potentially become like a sister to me (and she has). But I met her five and a half years ago. Now, she and my brother will move together to Pennsylvania in the summer after he graduates from his master’s program. While my brother hasn’t lived at home for many years now, he was never more than an hour and a half away in Ann Arbor, so he often came home on the weekends or my parents and I drove over to visit him on campus. Pennsylvania, however, is much further away…

I think including two timelines or juxtaposing a scene from the past and the present would work well for this memoir. I might write about the day I met my brother’s girlfriend and then flash forward to the present day and my thoughts and feelings about them moving in together so far from home. Like I said, it wasn’t until more recently that I felt ambivalent about her because now, for the first time, it almost feels like she’s taking my brother away from me and my family. For example, over Christmas break, we all went to Germany together to visit extended family, including my brother’s girlfriend, but they left before New Year’s to celebrate with her family back in the States. It was the first time I spent New Year’s in Germany without him. This was probably the turning point, when I finally noticed the more hostile side to my feelings about her.

By writing about the day I met my brother’s girlfriend, as well as including the moment I realized she might be taking him away from me, I hope to work through and possibly even accept these feelings. As I mentioned, she really is like a sister to me, and I don’t want to ruin our friendship by accusing her of hogging my brother. These things happen as people get older— they find love, graduate college, get a job, and move far from home. I want to be able to accept this and be happy for them and the relationship they’ve built over the years.

As for the reader, I hope they gain something similar from this memoir. I think learning to accept the aging process and coming to terms with major life changes is a universal human struggle that many can likely relate to. When others read this story, I hope they feel less alone in that struggle and can begin to feel less scared and hostile about changes and shifts that may be occurring in their own life or family.

Considering how short this memoir is supposed to be, there are several details I don’t need to include. For instance, I probably won’t mention that the reason my brother asked his girlfriend to homecoming in our garage was because he originally planned to do it in an airplane hangar (he’s a pilot), but his flight got cancelled due to issues with the plane. I also won’t describe the homecoming sign in too much detail, otherwise that will distract from the rest of the story. Finally, I remember my mom met her on the same day I did but including that scene will likely make the memoir too long and isn’t necessary to the central theme, so I can omit it from my writing.