Journal 4: January 26, 2020

I’ve been thinking a lot about the climate crisis lately with all the news on the fires in Australia. I’m glad this seems to be sparking more conversation about the issue, but are we really doing enough yet?

Every day I feel frustrated about myself because I care about the environment, I really do, but I just don’t think I’m doing enough. Yes, I don’t buy many clothes anymore, especially not from fast fashion brands, but I still wash the clothes I do have frequently, which sheds micro-plastics into the water system. There are bags you can buy to wash your clothes in that catch these micro-plastics but of course, I have yet to invest in one. And yes, I eat a predominantly plant-based diet, but I still eat some animal products like cheese and eggs. I could go entirely vegan, but I have yet to do so. And yes, I bring a reusable cup to every coffee shop I go to, but I still constantly produce excessive garbage through plastic wrap, feminine hygiene products, and food waste. I could buy reusable beeswax wrap instead of the plastic kind; I could buy period pants instead of pads; and I could compost my food waste and consume less avocados, but I don’t do any of that.

The problem is that I know exactly what I’m doing wrong, and I know exactly what I could do to fix these things. But I don’t do it. I haven’t bought a laundry bag for catching micro-plastics because I keep forgetting about it. I haven’t gone vegan because Mom and Dad eat normal diets, so that would just be too complicated. I haven’t bought beeswax wrap because I didn’t know it existed until recently and I haven’t bought period pants because they honestly sound disgusting and uncomfortable (am I supposed to change out of my entire underwear every time I would normally just change a pad??) and I don’t compost my food because I don’t know how and I don’t have a food waste bin and quite frankly I really like avocados.

I can’t tell anymore if I’m not doing any of these things because I don’t have time to think about them (or don’t want to think about them) or if I’m just making excuses to avoid extra work or if these are actually legitimate reasons I can’t do these things. I thought I cared, but… maybe I don’t? Have I lost all hope? Do I feel like there’s nothing to be done at this point? Do I think I alone can’t make a difference anyway? Do I believe my privileges will be taken from me? That my life will only become more and more uncomfortable?

I have no idea…